Show waiting list

There are some reasons why the position in the waitinglist is not shown: so the organisator can prefere someone,  without saying why.

Fair enough. But if settings give option, then system would be more dynamic

If you don't react, there's no answer.
If you react with saying no, then it's an explicit no.
The same, if you said yes before and you change to no, it's an explicit no. 

Maybe I dont get your answer and am stupid.

Let me explain situation.. I have 36 spots. Normally they are all filled. Then waitinglist starts to be filled. I can get 7-8 sometimes. All really wants to attend, so they start sending me private messages asking for their position in waitinglist.

Here it would be smart to have a separate list under the attendees, showing list with number in queue.
I understand not all wants it that way. But an option to show that way could make system dynamic.

if you use general JEM settings>Event Page>Event Registration>
Show attendee names to >everybody
Attendee names in order by > Status attending
Show all related users>yes.
Then the user can see his position on waitinglist.
What you want more?